So It's Monday Again

It's Monday, and you all know that I hate Mondays, but I'm determined that this is going to be a good week! I'm not gonna be depressed that it's Monday!

We're going to have great weather this week, with a nice break in the heat and humidity. Last week we had temps near 100 degrees with very high humidity, but this week it's going to be in the low-mid 80s! It's gonna feel like a cold front! It'll be perfect layout weather for me. :) We're also going to have nice weather for the 4th of July weekend- a little hot, but no rain!

Well, my mom's wedding was Saturday. It was really hot and muggy, but other than that, everything turned out nice. I'm glad that my mom has found happiness; she deserves it.

I just finished with a chest and triceps workout this morning. Got a set of 8 reps with the 45lb dumbbells, then a couple sets of bench press with 105lbs, for 5 reps. I really hate training chest! It's my least favorite muscle to train-well, besides legs!! Legs are the worst. I didn't train my chest very hard until just the past year or so, so I feel like it's my weakest muscle group. My back is much stronger compared to my chest. Guess I just gotta get it to catch up!

Anyway, here are some pics from the wedding-

The strawberry cake was DElicious!!!

Trust in the Lord with all your heart,and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him,and he will make straight your paths.

Proverbs 3:5

Thoughts

So I don't know what it is about Mondays, but it seems that I get emotional/kind of depressed every Monday! I mean, yesterday I was just thinking about things and worrying about things...and just didn't feel myself. I'm not usually a worrier, but I go through phases when I feel anxiety over really nothing at all.

There have been a lot of things going on with our church, which I've been thinking about for the past couple of weeks. Our pastor was "dismissed", and it's just been really, really upsetting. I feel betrayed and disappointed, but I also feel sad and mad at the same time! I'm mad at him for what he did, and sad that the church has "failed" just like everyone wanted it to. I looked up to our pastor and trusted him, and now that trust is gone, and it really makes it hard to be able to trust anyone now. I've never been through something like this before, so it's been on my mind a lot.

But ultimately, all I can do is trust in God. He has a plan, even though it may not always make sense to me. I do know that this is definitely making me stronger, and I've learned a lot from it. It's brought me closer to God. I've had to really reach out to Him for peace and hope in dealing with this, because I've really been sad over this whole thing.

And for the past few months, I've really been feeling that God wants more from me. I feel like I'm just not doing enough for Him, and it's been in the back of my mind for a while now. I read the bible regularly, I tithe, I sponsor a child, but I just feel that it's not enough. I should be doing more; I should be giving Him more of me. I'm too focused on my life and my interests than on God. I don't spend time in prayer with Him because, honestly, I get bored praying and feel like I'm just always saying the same things. Yesterday I just kept thinking, maybe I'm just a fan of Jesus, and not a true follower. I feel like God is wanting more of me....

Then I worry about my brother a lot. It's just so sad to me the circumstances that he's been through that have made him the way he is...He told me the other day that he just doesn't care about a lot of things. And he doesn't believe in God. It all started when my dad died-Jesse gave up any belief in God that he had because He didn't heal dad. I remember Jesse asking me when Dad was in the hospital, "Why won't God just heal him?" He was so young, and it really shaped who he is now, and it's really not his fault. Everything changed for the bad when Dad died...things would've been so much different if he was alive....It just makes me really sad.

But anyway, I'm better today! :) I just wanted to get out some of the things that were going through my mind yesterday. All I can do now is draw closer to God and totally put my trust in Him. Man will always let us down. We can never put anyone on a pedastal...even pastors are only human and can and WILL mess up.

Maybe this is God's way of testing me with this whole situation going on with the church. It's been a very hard thing to go through, but I know that God has a purpose for everything, even this. I trust in Him, and I know that He won't ever let me down.

Family Fun

I love cookouts! We had a little get together/party for my brother's graduation at my aunt's house over the weekend.

It was a perfect, hot summer day for a cookout. I played volleyball, threw football, played in the pool, and attempted handstands with my cousins(I have never been able to do one!!)-and today I am SUPER sore! My whole body hurts.

I ate WAY too much-hotdogs, potato salad, chips-YUM!! :) I just couldn't seem to stop, even when I wasn't hungry. Then we had cake and ice cream! So it was one of those whole cheat days instead of just one cheat meal! Oh well. It's nice to have a break from thinking about what I eat so much, even if it's just for a day.

So this week will be back to eating 100% clean...this weekend is my mom's wedding, so I know I will be eating more bad food!!

Here are a few pics:

Summer is Here!

Well, it's not technically summer yet, but it sure feels like it! It's been in the 90s with high humidity, so it actually feels like it's pretty close to 100 degrees!! Great pool weather, though, which is what I did over the weekend! There's nothing better than laying out by the pool with a book and the sun shining down on my skin....and when it gets too hot, just jump in the pool to cool off! :) Had a chocolate peanut butter ice cream cone after the pool Saturday for my treat, and it was sooo YUMMY, of course. Chocolate peanut butter is my FAVE! Ice cream is just the perfect summertime treat. Wish the weekends didn't fly by so fast. :(

Jesse's Graduation

Yesterday my little brother, Jesse, graduated from highschool... I just can't believe he is all grown up! There is 8 years age difference between Jesse and I, and in some ways I feel like a mother towards him!

Jesse was always my little "buddy" growing up. He did everything with my sister and me, and hung out with us and our friends all the time. We always got along, and he was never the "annoying little brother"!

We haven't been as close during his teenage years, but I guess it's not "cool" to hang out with your big sister when you're a teenager or something. But that's okay.

I wish my dad could've been there to see him graduate-he would have been so proud, since he never graduated from highschool himself. :( I know my brother has had a tough time since my dad died. It really hurts me to think about it. But I know he'll be okay. All I want is for him to be happy!

Here's us at my graduation in '03

And here's us at his graduation:

Sometimes I just don't see how I came from the family I came from!! I am so different from my brother and sister in so many ways....


I just talked with my mom on the phone, and she is all stressed out and depressed about my brother and sister, as always. They just both don't seem to have any motivation to do anything with their lives.


My sister lives in a trailer out in the middle of nowhere with her no good, bum of a boyfriend and his parents. She's 23 and hasn't had a job in years, yet she comes to my mom all the time for money, which my mom gives to her!!? She just uses my mom, and I don't see why my mom lets her do it. She'll never get a job if she knows Mom will give her money when she needs it. I just don't see how my sister can live the way she does.


My little brother is graduating from high school, and really doesn't seem very interested in college at all....he's still young, and I understand that... I just hope he doesn't follow the same path as my sister.


I just wish things were normal like they used to be! My sister and I used to be best friends and do EVERYthing together, now I hardly talk to her at all. I can't just call her up because she doesn't have a phone, doesn't have money, etc. I don't think she really cares about hanging out with me anymore. My little brother used to be my best buddy, but now he's just a mean teenager. He really changed after my dad died; I guess he was just angry... Hopefully he'll just grow out of that.

My brother and sister are just both selfish and inconsiderate and don't treat my mom right at all. They aren't appreciative of all that she's done for them. I just don't get it.

Back from Vacation

So I am back from vacation, and I had a GREAT time!! The 11 hour drive was torture, but it was worth it!!!

We had beautiful weather-sunny skies for 4 days straight! It was awesome. There is absolutely nothing better than laying in the sun on the beach all day! So of course now I'm kind of depressed. I miss the beach sooo much. I desperately need to live near one. Kentucky is just too far from all the beaches!!!!!

Well, I did get in a couple of workouts while I was there. I did one on the balcony of our hotel, so that was fun! And I didn't eat too horrible. Ordered grilled chicken and veggies for dinner most of the time, except for a steak one night. I did have mashed potatoes a couple of times, and biscuits and gravy(my fave!) for breakfast one morning!! Oh-and a chocolate peanut butter ice cream cone from Baskin Robbins, which was wonderful! :)

So now I guess the next thing I have to look forward to is NYC!! We have our flight and hotel booked and our schedule all planned out!

Here are just a few of the hundreds of pics I took!!