Lindsay's Ramblings

Hey! I’m here again with another blog since I actually have time now! So we are on day 31. Well, at least day 31 for me of being unemployed. Things are not going too bad as of now...like I said, this is nothing new for me besides the not being able to stay busy. I’m an introvert, so I don’t need a lot of people and I enjoy my alone time...buuuut this is a little TOO much even for me! I think today I have officially reached the delusional stage. I have been snap chatting videos with funny filters just to entertain myself-ha! I mean, I can be kinda funny sometimes. 😂 So, just  for an example, this is what I did today. ...got up and ate breakfast, then had coffee in my sunroom. I read my devotional during breakfast, and then I just play around on social media while I drink my coffee. My sunroom has been my oasis! Then I usually just waste more time on my phone(don’t judge-it passes the time!). After  a couple of hours, I finally get up and change out of my robe and put my make...

Everyone is freaking out right now(and understandably so)...meanwhile I'm over here feeling better than I have in almost 2 years. To me, this is nothing new. On June 29, 2018, my world was shattered. My heart was ripped out. My anchor was taken away. My routine was knocked outta wack. My future plans gone in the blink of an idea. I have felt anxiety and uncertainty every single day since then. Death doesn't scare me. Uncertainty doesn't scare me anymore. I've been floating in a strange "in between" place almost for 3 years now, and I still don't know where I'll be a year from now, much less 5 or 10 years... But I’m here right now, and that’s huge, because I truly never thought I could live without Matt. Things are still uncertain and scary, but I’m here. And I’m thankful. Thankful and scared and sad and happy all at the same time. After Matt died, I would have moments of happiness. Then it would be a day where I felt okay, or a few ...

I'm sooo, sooo happy it's finally Spring and that the temps are getting warmer!! It makes this social distancing thing so much better when I can get outside. January and February are usually the worst months of the year for me, but they actually weren't absolutely horrible this year and went by pretty fast. We didn't have a bad winter at all-I don't even think it snowed once...so that made it even better. The last few weeks, we have had some really nice weather, and it has been SO good for my soul! I was in desperate need of some nature and sunshine therapy.  It was a really nice last weekend, and I spent most of it outside. I even got some tan lines! I really missed my park and neighborhood walks, so I'm enjoying getting those in again. One day last week I went to the park and walked and read a book in the woods, and it was so relaxing! Since I'm not working right now, I've been watching Damon's kids when he works on Thursdays and Fridays, so ...