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Fear

So I'm a pretty shy person...I've grown out of it quite a bit, and would now maybe call myself just quiet, instead of shy, but there are still times when I'm just plain shy! I mean, it was so bad when I was younger that I didn't talk for the first 4 years of elementary school! I literally DID not speak! Sometimes I would whisper to certain people, but that was it.

But thankfully, as I've grown older, I've basically been forced to become less and less shy, just through life experience. But there is still a trace of it in me... Anyone who has dealt with shyness, like me, will know that it's almost like a fear. It's a fear of meeting new people...a fear of new situations...a fear of speaking to people, thinking that I sound stupid...it's a fear of many things and situations. I don't make friends easily because I can't be myself around new people, I don't go to any social gatherings where I know there will be a lot of people I don't know, I don't try new things....I mean, the list goes on. My fear and shyness hold me back from a lot.

Well, I recently was asked to help out with a bootcamp class at a personal training studio, which I agreed to. At first, I was like, "there is no way I could do that!" I was basically terrified. I thought there was no way I could be loud enough to yell at this huge group of people that I didn't even know! I was thinking about how stupid I would look and how dumb I would feel! I actually felt nauseous thinking about it.

But I prayed that God would give me peace about it, and that he would take away my fear and give me strength. And the few days before the bootcamp, I stopped thinking about it. I wasn't scared or nervous at all! God really did give me peace!

So tonight was the bootcamp, and it wasn't near as bad as I thought it would be! Woohoo, I did it! I think my problem is that I think too much! All these negative thoughts go through my head, like, "I'm not going to be good at this...I'm not going to be loud enough...people aren't going to take me serious...I'm going to sound so stupid...." Those are the kinds of thoughts that go through my head whenever I'm facing a new situation.

I wish I could just be confident and not worry about how I'm going to look or sound...But I found out that when I don't think about it too much, those negative thoughts go away! I can't allow myself to think those thoughts anymore. I have to be positive and be confident! With God's help, I can do anything I set my mind to!

I don't want fear to hold me back anymore....I know it will take a lot of work and God's strength...but I can conquer it! :)


"It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.”
—Deuteronomy 31:8

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
-Isaiah 41:10

I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me.
-Philippians 4:13

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