Okay, time for a "Dear Diary" post...
I'm going to be really honest and real with you all right now.
So by the time you've hit 30, you most likely already have kids, or have thought about having kids. Usually, by this point, people either know they want children or they know they don't.
The thing with me is, I just don't know. To be honest, I have nothing in me whatsoever that wants to have a child right now....but I'm not completely opposed to having one in the future. And that's my conundrum!
I actually sometimes envision my future with a kid, and I know I'd be a great mom...but I just know I don't want to go through a pregnancy and labor or have a screaming, pooping baby to take care of. Like, nothing about it appeals to me at all. And Matt is right there with me! I think it would help if he had strong feelings one way or another, but he is in the same boat as me.
I just keep waiting for the desire to hit me.... but so far it hasn't come. I tell myself, "Give it another year or two, and maybe you'll be able to decide." But then a couple years go by, and the desire still isn't there! The thing is, I'm not getting any younger!
I do pray about it often, that God will give me the desire if that's His will. I don't feel "wrong" in making the choice not to have kids, and so far I haven't had anything in me that feels that that is what He is putting on my heart.
I guess what I fear most is regretting making the choice to NOT to have a child. Like, I can't imagine being an old woman and not having a family, because I love being with family and having family traditions and all that. I don't want to be a lonely old woman one day! Someone once told me, "You won't regret having a child, but you might regret NOT having one", and that has stuck with me.
Who knows, maybe we wouldn't even be able to have a baby. If that were the case, I would totally be okay with that! I know that kids are great and everything, but I love our life right now. There is no part of me that feels the NEED to have a baby. I have no mothering/nurturing instinct within me that needs to be fulfilled or anything like that. I just don't.
So, I guess I just wanted to get these thoughts off my chest and share my feelings. It sometimes seems like there is no one else out there who struggles with this-most people have made a decision one way or another. Maybe some of you have or have had these same feelings? What are your thoughts?(I know I'm opening myself up to judgement here, so please, if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all.)
I'm going to be really honest and real with you all right now.
So by the time you've hit 30, you most likely already have kids, or have thought about having kids. Usually, by this point, people either know they want children or they know they don't.
The thing with me is, I just don't know. To be honest, I have nothing in me whatsoever that wants to have a child right now....but I'm not completely opposed to having one in the future. And that's my conundrum!
I actually sometimes envision my future with a kid, and I know I'd be a great mom...but I just know I don't want to go through a pregnancy and labor or have a screaming, pooping baby to take care of. Like, nothing about it appeals to me at all. And Matt is right there with me! I think it would help if he had strong feelings one way or another, but he is in the same boat as me.
I just keep waiting for the desire to hit me.... but so far it hasn't come. I tell myself, "Give it another year or two, and maybe you'll be able to decide." But then a couple years go by, and the desire still isn't there! The thing is, I'm not getting any younger!
I do pray about it often, that God will give me the desire if that's His will. I don't feel "wrong" in making the choice not to have kids, and so far I haven't had anything in me that feels that that is what He is putting on my heart.
I guess what I fear most is regretting making the choice to NOT to have a child. Like, I can't imagine being an old woman and not having a family, because I love being with family and having family traditions and all that. I don't want to be a lonely old woman one day! Someone once told me, "You won't regret having a child, but you might regret NOT having one", and that has stuck with me.
Who knows, maybe we wouldn't even be able to have a baby. If that were the case, I would totally be okay with that! I know that kids are great and everything, but I love our life right now. There is no part of me that feels the NEED to have a baby. I have no mothering/nurturing instinct within me that needs to be fulfilled or anything like that. I just don't.
So, I guess I just wanted to get these thoughts off my chest and share my feelings. It sometimes seems like there is no one else out there who struggles with this-most people have made a decision one way or another. Maybe some of you have or have had these same feelings? What are your thoughts?(I know I'm opening myself up to judgement here, so please, if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all.)
I'm so glad you posted this because I feel the exact same way. (Love the memes!). You summed it up perfectly. <3
ReplyDeleteThanks! It's nice to hear it's not just me! ;) The memes were cracking me up. So bad, but so funny.
DeleteWill be 42 this year and was never "struck" with the desire to have children. Everyone told me I had to do it. It was what society expected and I would regret it, but my husband and I made the right choice for us. God has his plan for each of us and parenthood in the traditional sense wasn't what he had in mind for me :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing your thoughts!
DeleteMy wife and I didn't have kids ... for lots of reasons ... and I recall her becoming worried that one day I might regret not being a father ... As I said to her, "I chose to spend my life with you ... not a child we may or may not have" ... Since then we have had nieces and nephews, Godchildren and sponsored children, all of whom have allowed us to have the love of children in our lives ... and most of whom will come to laugh at us and keep us company in our dotage! While I am sure that being a parent would have been a wonderful experience (and I do not diminish the value for those who are parents), I have never regretted a day as a "non parent". Sometimes God gives us different paths to follow than the ones we 'assumed' we would grow up to walk .. Like you, Lindsay, I have been blessed with a best friend to walk by my side through life. I could ask for no more and nor would I want to!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for commenting and sharing your thoughts. Mostly I just hear from people who have kids, telling me that it's the "best thing ever", so it's nice to hear from those who don't have kids. So again, thank you!
DeleteI got pregnant unexpectedly. I had no maternal feelings or a burning desire to have kids. But it happened. And during my pregnancy the maternal feelings just came naturally. I would try for a year and if you don't get pregnant easily maybe having kids is not in your future. I have friends with no kids and they are happy. As for me it added so much to my life unexpectedly that my life has become richer and I thank God for the experience and for giving me such a gift.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for commenting! I know that if I were to have a child, that it would come. I guess for me, it's the desire to even try? I know I would be happy either way, but I also don't want to "miss out" if I choose not to have a child. I'm sure it would enhance my life, but right now I really love my life as is, as bad as that my sound...just being honest. Again, thank you so much for commenting-it helps to hear about other's experiences.
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