Lindsay's Ramblings

Hiiii!! Back again with another random post.  So we had some really great weather the last couple weeks, and it was lovely! One day it was even like 80 degrees, and I loved it. But now it offically feels like Fall...womp womp. I guess it had to come eventually.  Just like every single year, I am dreading the weather and hoping it'll be a mild one. I don't know how y'all northerners do it! I could not deal with all that snow and negative degree temperatures. I'm hoping to book a trip for some place in January or February to help get me through. I am in desperate need of a weekend getaway!  So anyways, last week was Capp Kindness day! Every year it makes me so happy to see all the random acts of kindness being done in honor of Matt. And it's really fun to do them myself! This year I left a gift card on a Kroger cart, left some quarters on a vending machine, paid for the person behind me at the drive-through, left a gift for the mail carrier in the mailbox, and made a ...

I am guilty of being one of those "toxic positivity" people before Matt died. You know," Just fix your mindset and you'll be happy!" "If you're anxious or depressed, you just need to pray and be more thankful!" I realize now that's it's not like that. People don't always CHOOSE to be sad or have anxiety or depression. Yes, sometimes it CAN be a mindset thing, and we should absolutely pray and have gratitude. But that doesn't just "fix" things. When Matt died, people constantly tried to cheer me up, or "fix" me, when I didn't WANT to be fixed. My heart and soul had just been ripped out of my body, and I wanted to be SAD. I NEEDED to be sad, I NEEDED to feel the pain and the grief, as much and as long as I needed to. I wasn't purposely choosing to be sad. After a few months of it, I was over it. I was so tired of being sad, but I couldn't help it. I did things that brought me joy, I tried to focus on t...