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Parenting is Hard!

 Hiiii y'all! It's been a while...anyone still out there in the good ol' blogspot world???? I know I'm so behind the times, but I still like having this blog as a way to look back on things throughout the years.

Life's been pretty busy lately, but good! Having 3 kids 50% of the time definitely keeps things interesting! I have to give you parents out there props, because raising kids is HARDDDD. 

Lately I have just been so hard on myself about the whole "stepmom" thing. I put a lot of pressure on myself, sometimes unnecessarily I feel like.  But I just care for these kids who are under my roof and want the best for them! I feel like it's gotten harder instead of easier as time has gone on. It's just a lot, especially being thrown into it so quickly and going from no kids and a quiet house all the time...to lots of noise and chaos! 

It's making food and snacks, and setting rules and having structure, and planning fun things, and cleaning up constantly and breaking up fighting and bickering...I wouldn't trade it for anything, but it is exhausting. And it's just a constant battle in my mind, wanting to be fun and have them like me, to thinking I'm being too hard on them, or not hard enough. It's a lot of mental stress and guilt and that wears on you! 


I just have to remind myself that I'm doing my best,and pray for God to help me and give me strength! In the end, I hope they will look back see that I always had good intentions and that I everything I did was in love. I guess that is true of all kids with their parents. The days are long, but the years are short!

So it's June...my favorite month. NOT. I can definitely tell the death anniversary is approaching. I have more griefy moments and my mind often flashes back to those last few weeks.  I'm never certain how I'll actually feel on that specific day. I may be okay, I may cry on and off the whole day, who knows.

So here are some pics from life lately...we just had Ava's 10th birthday party, which was DONUT themed! I think it turned out so cute!




Damon and I went kayaking the other weekend and it was very fun and relaxing! I so wish we had a pool or a boat, so that I could be in the sun and water every weekend!







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