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Dear Diary

These days...

there's the sadness that comes with grief, 

the ache that is always there...

But also, now

there's a sadness, another type of grief, 

that comes with the wondering...

if my future is secure,

if I'm truly valued and treasured and wanted...

the sadness

of not having the security I once had 

that comes with

a ring on my finger...

a promise...

of forever...

The uncertainty is killing me

and wearing me down

feeling like I have to BEG 

for someone to see my value, 

to choose me...

not just for NOW...

but for forever.

Because after all I've been through

I just want

my happily ever after

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