Lindsay's Ramblings

This is so true.  I don't feel like I'm starting a new chapter in life, I feel like I'm living a whole new life.  I literally feel like I've reverted back to the 18 year old I was before I met Matt, like I'm starting from scratch almost. I'm 34 going on 18, like a kid who's suddenly been thrown into an adult world. And I'm learning that it's kinda scary out there, ya'll.  I have to say that I'm realizing how sheltered I've been my whole life. My mom did most things for me growing up until I met Matt, and then he took care of me for the last 14 years. Like, he literally did everything for me. He paid off my school loans and helped me buy my car and took care of bills and insurance stuff and even scheduled my dentist appointments! I mean, y'all don't even know.   There are a lot of world experiences, I guess you could call them, that I didn't experience. I never lived on my own, I never really dated, or had my hea...

"One day, when you have crossed that mountain of sorrow, you will see the valley before you and the sun will rise.  In that moment, you will know that you have survived a broken heart. You will be different, you will be someone else completely but you will be alive and well.  The next step is to learn what it all means, joy, love, life; it’s all waiting for you."  -T.B. Laberge

Just when things start looking up...life throws you another curve ball. Sunday night I had to say goodbye to my sweet fur child... and my heart is broken. Well, what's left of my already broken heart. For 12 years, Asher was the best dog anyone could've ever asked for. Everyone who met him fell in love with him, even people who didn't like dogs! For 12 years, he brought Matt and I so much joy. I've never seen a person love a dog as much as Matt loved Asher. He was SO loved.  Coming home from work last night was the  worst .  It's going to be so strange for a while not being greeted by him when I walk through the door, not hearing his nails on the wood floor, not having his fur floating around and covering every surface. This house isn't going to be a home without Asher in it.  My brother said it best-it feels like the life has just been sucked out of the house. It still doesn't feel real right now because it all happened so suddenly....

I did a thing! I've been wanting to get my nose pierced for a while now, and I finally did it! I was at work yesterday, and just thought, what the heck, scheduled an appointment, and went by myself to get it done. And I'm so glad I did. I love it!  I don't know what it is, but these days I just want to do all the scary/exciting and new things! Maybe it's a phase, maybe it's me trying to feel some excitement after so many months of feeling pain and sadness, maybe it's just my rebel side coming out, maybe it's just that I want to feel alive again, I don't know. It's hard to explain. But I'm not gonna over analyze and just go with it. Right now I'm just living in the moment! I've been doing so many things outside of my comfort zone the last few months, proving to myself that I can do things that are scary, and things that I want to do without worrying about what anyone else thinks. And it feels good. It feels good to know I'm a...