My love, my best
friend, the best thing that ever happened to me… I know you wouldn’t want me to
brag on you, but I’m your wife, so I’m allowed. You were an amazing
man. Smart, funny, athletic, charismatic, witty, handsome, kind, generous, and humble…But
that’s not the main reason I fell in love with you 14 years ago, although I
loved all of those qualities about you. Most of all, I fell in love with you
because of your love for Jesus. I had prayed for a
good, Christian man since I was around 12 or 13 years old, when you start thinking about those things. I dated a few guys in
my young teenage years, nothing serious, but the one thing they all lacked was
a strong faith-and I knew that was what I wanted in a man someday-someone who
didn’t just SAY he was a Christian but who actually lived out his beliefs. I
knew that was very rare and would be hard to find, but it was something that I would
not compromise on when it came to my future husband. When I first saw you
It was a Tuesday. I got the call from Matt around 3:00. I remember I was sitting at the computer at home. Matt told me that he was at the hospital, and that Bob Scott, his boss, had driven him there. Then he said those 4 words I never expected to hear: “The tumor came back.”
My heart stopped.
Matt had gone in that morning for an MRI, as he has done numerous times in the past 10 years. He was now at the point where he had an MRI just yearly now, and that one was done in February, which showed that everything was fine. There was no sign of tumor growth, which had been the case for the last 10 years, praise God. But because Matt had been having some seizure activity for the last few months, they suggested he go in for another MRI in July. We then decided we should move up the appointment, because he had been having a headache every day for the past week. Good thing we did.... After I hung up with Matt, I immediately broke down. I think after tha…
Here's where we're at right now: Matt finished his radiation treatments last week. Did they help? I don't know. He's sleeping a lot more. Having trouble chewing and swallowing. Not eating much. Not talking much, at least not in full sentences. It's just been a slow, steady decline for the last few months. I think it was really too late for radiation....But who knows, maybe it is delaying things.
We went in last Tuesday for his infusion and talked with his neuro-oncologist about everything that we've been seeing with Matt, and he decided that we're at the point now where we should discontinue treatments...I feel like it's the right decision, even though it breaks my heart knowing that there is nothing else we can do. But I feel like we've done everything. All the supplements, the diet, the chemo, the radiation...
Matt has fought hard. He never gave up hope. He kept the faith. He never complained through any of this. Not once did I hear him …