Posts

"How Can I Help?"

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Hi guys!! So today I thought I would write about a few ways you can help someone who is grieving a loss( specifically the loss of a spouse) whether it has been recent, or years later. Yes, that's right, grieving doesn't stop when the funeral is over, orrrr after the first few weeks... or months....or years. Shocking, right? Most widows will tell you that it actually gets worse AFTER the funeral, when the shock has worn off, when reality sets in, when the stress of this new life on our own just keeps building up. We still need you! We are still not okay.I know a lot of people want to help but just don't know what to do. I get it. You don't want to do or say the wrong thing, so you end up doing nothing. The best piece of advice I can give you, coming from myself and other widows I know-don't ask us what we need!! Or don't say, "Let me know how I can help." We won't ask. We may not even know what we need at the moment. And I know that for me, I have…

2020 -To Remember

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April 27,2020- We are at 44 days of social isolation. - The dollar is worth $ 5.32, the euro $ 5.77 and the pound $ 6.54. - Schools have been closed since mid March and we are teaching remotely on-line. This will continue for the rest of the school year. - There are lines / tapes inside the stores on the floors to keep people 6 feet apart. - Bars and restaurants are open only for takeout, home delivery & pick-up. - Parks, beaches, hiking trails and walk-in places are not accessible to the public. - All major and minor league sports competitions have been cancelled as well as kid's sports. - All festivals and entertainment events have been banned. - Weddings, family celebrations and birthdays have been cancelled. Funerals limited to 10-20 people. - People are doing drive-by parades to celebrate birthdays! - Young kids can’t understand why they can only see grandparents & other extended family and friends on a screen or thru a window if someone visits in person or on Facetime online. …

Thoughts & Fun at Huber's

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Oh my gosh, you all. I have been in a FUNK lately. I don't know if it's a grief wave, depression, anxiety...these days it's hard to know what's what. I go to sleep at night with my mind spinning...I've felt down and sad for no reason(well, besides my husband being dead)...and I just miss Matt so freaking much. I miss my old life, even while there are things I love about my new one. I just miss my brain being at ease. I miss not having to stress about things because Matt took care of everything. I miss feeling stable. Basically, I miss life being easy. And yes, I guess I should be thankful that I had Matt and that he made life so happy and easy for me. I know I was probably lucky in that I didn't have a lot of the worries and stress most people do. And when there was anything that needed to be done or anything to stress about, Matt took care of it. So it's just so different now.
And I've felt really  alone lately. I mean, I have friends that I hang out w…

The Person Inside

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"After loss the ability to share how you truly feel to other human beings is not as easy as it used to be.Sharing our truth after a loss becomes an internal experience.You are not aware of this at first, because you do still externalize the loss to those around you as you are in a mourning period. But what is taking place is a new type of withholding.
You start to withhold some of your emotions.
The separation between your old life, the friends, everything you had begins with this partial withholding of how distraught you feel.
You cry.
You share.
You tell them how horrible this feels but yet you know they don’t really understand the magnitude of your pain.
You start to keep things to yourself more and more after loss.
Ultimately within the first 3 months when people ask you the very important question
“How are you doing?”, you respond with, “I am doing okay I suppose”, or “I am hanging in there.” And that is when the biggest emotional separation sets in. When everything is different ins…

All We Have is NOW

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When my husband died all the stability and certainty of my life disappeared in the blink of an eye. I felt like I was wondering around, lost, with no anchor. I truly had no idea what I would do or how my life would end up.But one thing that helped me to get through this was just to take things one day at a time. Even though it was definitely hard at times when my heart was in so much pain, I tried to simply live in the moment and appreciate the small things. And I still do that to this day.

All we have is this moment. The past is gone and the future is not certain. So be sure to open your eyes to the beauty around you everyday. Savor this moment. Kissing your husband. Snuggling with your kids. A butterfly landing on a flower. Blue skies. A warm cup of coffee. Crickets chirping at night. A roof over our heads. A refrigerator full of food. A car to drive.

Life is hard. It seems like the world is in chaos right now and there's so much hate and anger. But we can make the choice to be th…

Random Thoughts

Hey guys! I just thought I'd drop in with a life update. So I know I posted a while back about my boyfriend and me breaking up. There was just a lot going on at the time, and both of us needed to take a step back. But we've worked through things and are back together now. We're committed to moving forward and doing life together...which I will admit, still terrifies me. A relationship is definitely a lot different now than it was with Matt... there are kids, hectic schedules, exes, past issues, etc...so it can be hard at times, I'm not gonna lie. But I am happy and feel good about my life right now, although sometimes it still feels like I'm living someone else's life... With that being said, I still wouldn't say I'm "healed".  Something happened to my brain when I went through Matt's cancer and then his death, and I don't think I'll ever be the same. I'm still realizing the trauma of what I went through and seeing the effects …

Beach Vacayyy!

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I finally got my beach trip!!!! I've been trying to plan a trip for forever, but it just never worked out.  It's been 2 years, and that is absolutely not acceptable. The beach is my happy place, and it was much needed! It was as little different experience for me since I went with my boyfriend and his kids, and our friends and their kids, but it was a great time! The kids had a blast, and all I need is some time on the sand with a beach view and I am GOOD.
My happy place
Their frozen drinks were delicious! 
Life is better in a bikini! 
Love these pics! 
Father and daughter
Walking the beach after dinner 
Kids loved jumping the waves! 
Beach hair don't care! I need to see this at least once a year!
Friends!💙 Salt in the air, sand in my hair 🌴