Lindsay's Ramblings

Hi to the five people who still read blogs! I know this isn't really a popular platform these days, so I write here mostly as a way to just keep record of my thoughts through the years. As I've said before, it's sort of like an online diary for me.  Friendships have been on my mind lately. I've recently just felt really hurt, confused, left out and excluded. I try to put on this "hard" exterior, like nothing bothers me, but deep down, it really does.  I've come to realize that I really struggle with friendships. I struggle with wanting friends, with wanting to feel included and part of a group, but at the same time, struggling with the energy and effort it takes to maintain those friendships-with doing all the "right" things to be someone people would want to be friends with. I know that it's me; I know I'm different. I'm not the most social, I'm not the most talkative, I'm not the most emotional. I'm not super funny or wi