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Dear Diary,

It’s sad how much people can change. I know it’s just part of life…but it still makes me sad sometimes.

It’s sad how close my sister and I were growing up, how we would laugh and talk and share our secrets and have so much fun together…. and now we see each other maybe once every 3 months. The light in her eyes is gone, the girl who used to always make me laugh is sad and depressed.  She was my best friend, and now it’s like I don’t even know her, almost like I don’t even have a sister anymore, really.

It’s sad to see the life that she’s chosen for herself, when I know she deserves so much more. Sometimes I wish I had a sister who I could just call up to go shopping with, or go out to lunch with, or whatever-just normal things sisters do together. But she lives too far away, doesn’t have transportation, can’t be away from her boyfriend for 5 minutes, and doesn’t have any money. I hope that someday things will change for her, but I may just have to accept that this is the way it’s going to be.

It makes me sad when I think about how bitter and hateful my little brother became after my dad died, how the happy, smiling little boy I remember slowly faded away. I know he went through some rough times at such a young age, which is a huge part of the reason. Unlike my sister, however, I do think he’ll be okay in the long run and that there’s hope for him. I just wish he didn’t go through all the things he’s been through….
Sorry if this post is a bit depressing but I originally started this blog as a place for me to vent and share my feelings, and I want to keep it that way. I just get a little sad sometimes because  I miss my brother and sister!   I miss the days when things were simple and carefree, and we were all happy. I usually try not to dwell on it, but there are some days where I can’t ignore and keep acting like it doesn’t hurt.
But I’ll always keep hoping and praying that one day things will be okay again! Until then, I'll just keep carrying on with my life and being thankful for the JOY that I have every single day.

Comments

  1. HS @ Our Debt BlogMay 22, 2012 at 2:34 PM

    Sorry! who's the middle child?? If you don't mind me asking.

    HS

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LindsayMay 22, 2012 at 2:58 PM

      My sister...which I'm sure explains a lot!

      Delete
  2. Krystal BlueMay 26, 2012 at 2:41 PM

    I will pray that things get better. I'm sorry. I feel your pain. I come from a broken home/familyb as well and it's not easy. Luckily I have my half-sisters in ca but no mom, or the sisters I grew up with who also changed for the worse :( I am the middle child. I got treated very poorly by my mom and never really knew my bio. Dad. I won't let it get me down though because I have chosen to make something better of my life. & you have your loving husband and puppy and I am sure a lot of people who care about you! Keep praying and hopefully your prayers will be answered soon! <3

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LindsayMay 27, 2012 at 5:34 AM

      Thanks Krystal! I wish things didn't have to change...but you are right. I am so lucky and thankful for God, my husband and my doggy! :)

      Delete

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