Okay, so yesterday I looked back at some photos of myself from this time last year and realized that I have unknowingly gotten leaner. I mean, my weight is a little lower, and I have been feeling like my legs are smaller, I just didn't realize the difference until I saw these pictures side by side.
I'm a little leaner now, but you can see that my legs are definitely smaller. Needless to say, I'm not too happy about that. I have been eating more carbs than I was back then(proof that carbs DON'T make you fat!!), but I haven't been making a concentrated effort to make sure I'm getting in the calories as I was back then. Obviously I'm not getting in enough! I do NOT want to go back to obsessively tracking my intake, but I do need to get more calories in for sure!
Yeah, I do like my abs now, not gonna lie...but I don't like feeling small. I don't want to be "skinny ripped." I want to look thick and muscular-more of the look I had last year, even though I had more bodyfat. Sooo yes, I have to sacrifice my abs for my goal of looking thicker. Most people don't like fat, but I don't like being puny!
I'm trying not to let in get me down, but I am a little bummed....and freaking out thinking that maybe I'm losing muscle?? But honestly, I feel SO good about my training and nutrition right now that I don't want to get caught up in my body image again. I don't want to start obsessing about the way my body looks or about my food and training again. The past year I have really found more balance and freedom in the way that I eat than I have in the past few years, and I want it to stay that way! I mean, I guess it's definitely a better problem to have than the opposite, so I shouldn't complain, right? It's just that I've worked so hard to build my body UP for years and years....
On the other hand, I do think my situation is a good example of showing that you can lean out without even actively trying to-by eating enough calories, lifting heavy, and not doing excessive cardio! I've actually cut down my "cardio" in the last year also-I don't do as many finishers, just a few sets of farmer's walks on Mondays and one day of sled pushes! And for anyone who has been afraid of carbs-let this show you that you don't have to be!! For so long I didn't eat carbs at night, but I have been for over a year now, and I did not gain weight as I had feared. Yes, I know that everyone is different, but if you lift weights intensely, there is no reason to avoid carbs. Overall calories is really the main thing when it comes to fat loss or gain.
So... I had a my little meltdown last night, but I am moving on. Now I just know that I need to be getting in more calories, and my goal is to gain back the few pounds I've lost in the last year. Not gonna let it get me down! Also reminding myself of what God has been speaking to me lately-that my body is NOT what matters in this life. It is just a temporary shell, and the things that matter for eternity are what I should be concerned about and working on-not just my outward appearance!