Lindsay's Ramblings

Nothing feels quite right, does it?  I haven't felt like this in a while, and it hurts to think. When did this fog set in?  Where did my lighthouse go?  What happened to the things I once was so sure  of?  It feels hollow, and I'm scared that it won't go back, that I'll drift for a while and not ever have anything to return to. Oh, but I see now, I must look up and see the beauty of that northern star; the silence of it will not tell me where to go, but the fact that it is where it is,  will guide me home. Do we not all have a northern star?  Do we not all have Christ?  Who He is, and where He is, is the sign for where we must go; that is hope in the darkness, in the confusion of it all. Christ standing with his arms out stretched, showing us our way home,  showing us our way to Him. -T.B. Laberge

This is a post I wrote out but never posted a couple of months ago... "Some days I wonder when I'll ever get back to me- the happy, optimistic, stress-free me. Will I ever feel normal again?  A part of me feels like I should hide this, the pain, the emptiness, the anxiety...because a Christian woman who loves Jesus isn't supposed to feel this way, is she? She's not to supposed to feel this bad, this empty, this lost...right?  But then I am reminded that I had a piece of my heart and soul ripped away, and that is going to take time to learn to live with. I went through a trauma that has changed my brain. I have to accept that the old me is gone as well. Maybe some part of her will emerge from the ashes, but for now, she is not who she once was. Is this depression? The feeling of loneliness, emptiness, always wanting to cry, the exhaustion?  Or is this just part of grief? Part of having your whole life change drastically and suddenly? Maybe one day she...