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Showing posts from March, 2021

Dear Diary

It's been 2 and 1/2 years, and I feel like I can't voice my pain anymore.  No one wants to hear that it still hurts. I feel like it's "allowed" the first year...maybe two...now I just feel like a burden.  People don't come right out and say it, but I can tell they want me to be "over" it. They see me "moving on". They see me smiling, and it makes them happy.  So there's no one to tell, on the days when my heart feels like it's breaking all over again. When I want to cry and yell and tell someone it still hurts.  People don't like to see pain they can't fix. They don't like to see grief that's not neat and tidy, or grief that doesn't follow a certain path or timeline. I'm thankful for the days Damon holds me and lets me cry, just like he did this past weekend on my wedding anniversary. But I know it can't be easy for him. There's a part of me that knows I do have to hold back slightly from him, from ev...