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7 years

 7 years...

It's hard to fathom.

7 whole years without a piece of my heart and soul. Something I never imagined I could possibly live through, yet here I am.

The time passes...and they say that time heals...but for me, the missing never stops.

I think of him still, every day, all the time.



I live life, and I experience joy and gratitude...and I have a good life. But it's not the same. I also have a pain and a heaviness that I live with on a daily basis that I'm still getting used to, as someone who was so "light" and joyful and bubbly and carefree their whole life.

Some days I still feel like a stranger in my own life, like I'm just going through the motions. Some days I feel that I'll never get over it, that I'll never stop thinking about losing him, that I'll never be 100% okay again...

and maybe that's true.
Maybe this is my lot in this life-to have met and loved someone so hard that I'll never get over it...that I had a love for someone that survives death. And that's pretty amazing.

But I don't feel that I'm "stuck", as this post may sound...I feel like this is just living with grief, the price you pay for loving so hard.


"There is nowhere far enough,
and nothing permanent enough
to stop me from loving you.

So I will not say I loved you.
Because I love you."
-Becky Hemsley




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