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3 years

Today is the three year anniversary of the death of my dad. I miss him so much. When he died, it felt like a piece of me was gone, too, and it still feels like that.

I wish I could see him and talk with him and laugh with him again...it makes me sad that if I have kids some day they'll never know their grandpa...

It hurts me the most when I think of my little brother growing up without a dad. Everytime I think back to the day he died I most remember right after he passed, my brother just saying, "no, no, no, no, no". It still breaks my heart thinking about it.... My brother was only 13 when my dad died-I can't imagine going through that at 13 years old.

I guess time does heal the pain...I think about my dad every day still, but at least I don't think about the day of his death like I used to. When he died, I just couldn't get the picture of him in the hospital out of my head for the first few months....I can handle thinking about the memories with him, but I just hate thinking about being in the hospital that day and watching him die. Today has made me think of that day again, and that's what really gets to me.

It's the worst thing in the world to watch the life drain out of someone. To see someone who was so strong suddenly age so quickly and become so weak.

It's something I never want to go through again.

At first I did question God and ask him why this had to happen-I think that's natural. But He was there with me through it all. He gave me peace, comfort and the strength to get through it.

My little brother was so young and didn't really have a faith in God yet, so after my dad died I guess he just stopped believing. I remember him asking me when my dad was in the hospital, "if God can heal him, then why won't he?" I didn't have an answer to that.

I try to get him to go to church with me, but he refuses. I pray for him all the time...I guess that's all I can do.

One day I'll see my dad again. I'm only sad because I miss him....I know that in Heaven he is much happier than he was here. He's home.

I can't wait til I finally make it home!

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