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Split Personality

I kind of feel like I am two different people-the person I am in my blog, and the person I am, well, in person!

People have read my blog and told me how amazing and inspiring  I am, and I kind of feel awkward hearing that, because I'm definitely not that great! I'm glad that I inspire and motivate people-that truly is my main goal- but I feel like if they met me or knew me in person, they would be let down.

There are very few people who know the real me and my true personality. My husband, my brother and sister, my mom, and one of my close friends that I've known since childhood...and that's really about it. It's only around those people that the real me comes out-the silly, goofy, funny, outgoing, loud, bossy, talkative me! Most people only see the quiet, shy and softspoken side of me.
I have always had a hard time making new friends and meeting new people. I just can't be myself around people I don't know well. I'm self-conscious, I'm uncomfortable, I can't relax, and I feel like I sound stupid. So I just stay quiet and don't say much. Then I end up being known as the quiet and shy girl, or sometimes people just think I'm snobby or stand-offish, which is even worse.  I've always hated that, but that's just how it always has been. I've grown out of my shyness a LOT, but it's still there and probably always will be.
All my life, it has been hard for me to get out what I want to say through speaking. My absolute biggest fear in life is speaking in front of a group of people. I would rather DIE, really. I just can't seem to express myself well in person. I have what I want to say in my head, but it just doesn't come out right! It gets all jumbled up, and I just can't get out what I want to say in an articulate way. It is frustrating! So writing for me has always been my way to get out what I want to say. It's where my thoughts can come together in a way that actually makes sense, unlike when I speak them out loud sometimes!
So one of the reasons that I love to blog is because I can be myself. I don't feel like I'm being judged, and I'm not scared of sounding stupid. I can just say what I want to say without feeling self conscious. I can let my real personality come through. Everything that I hold in or can't say in the right words in person can come out in my blog.  So thank you to everyone who reads my "ramblings"-I really appreciate you all, and I hope that I will continue to inspire and motivate through my words in this blog. :)

Comments

  1. cdcheyDecember 2, 2011 at 11:34 PM

    Hi Lindsay! I hear you, I feel the same a lot. I love people but they scare the beejesus out of me!. I love your ramblings so keep it up. Nina x
    Ps. I have a white shepherd too named Alfie, he is my angel.... We just won't mention the white hairs everywhere will we. :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. LindsayDecember 3, 2011 at 6:11 AM

    Hi! Thanks for the comment!
    Awww, that's so cool you have a white shepherd, too! They are just big babies! And what white hairs everywhere? hehe ;)

    ReplyDelete
  3. AthenaDecember 4, 2011 at 12:03 PM

    I have to say I TOTALLY relate to this. I could have written this entry! In particular it's so frustrating about being judged as a snob or stand off-ish when it's really the furthest thing from the truth. Anyway, you look amazing... my fitness journey has just begun but I hope to have a physique like yours someday!

    ReplyDelete
  4. LindsayDecember 5, 2011 at 6:06 AM

    Athena-yes, being judged as a snob has always been the worst thing about my shyness! :(
    Well, thank you and good luck on your fitness journey!! Train hard and be consistent, and I know you'll get amazing results!

    ReplyDelete
  5. JennyMarch 11, 2012 at 12:11 PM

    Love your blog and attitude - always inspires me :) Just wanted to say hello and that I can really relate to this post! I'm always wishing I could change this aspect of myself ... but I think it's just in my nature and i need to learn to accept (and maybe even love?) this part of myself. I sometimes even find myself judging other people for this same thing (and it's really just because I judge myself....ugh) Anyways....you're def not alone in this. I think we are just introverted....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LindsayMarch 11, 2012 at 1:16 PM

      Thank you! I have learned to accept that this is who I am....I only hate that my shyness holds me back from things sometimes. :( I am definitely an introvert...I just wish I wasn't a shy introvert! ;)

      Delete

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