The Countdown Is On!

Our Florida trip is booked and the countdown is on!!!! 38 days, and I'll be here:

I'm so excited!!

So now the big decision is...should I try to lean out a little, or just say 'who cares' and go the way I am?? I'm such a perfectionist!!

I pretty like every part of my body except for my midsection, so I would like to lean out just a little. Too bad I can't just lose fat from my stomach and not anywhere else! But unfortunately that's not the way it works, so I'd have get leaner all over in order to get my abs to show more. Boo. :(

Since I hit my goal weight of 125lbs, I have stayed there consistently for the past month. I can definitely tell that I've put on muscle since last fall (and others have told me I look like I've gained muscle), but I'm still lean, which is what I wanted.

I really like the way I'm eating right now. I watch what I eat but don't feel like I'm dieting. I don't have anxiety about my food like I used to when I was going lower carb. Maybe I'll just slightly lower my calorie intake on my off days, and go on a longer walk with my dog 3 days a week...

My goal is to be able to always stay lean without having to step on a cardio machine or go on a strict diet! So far I've been able to do that, but hopefully that will continue for my whole life! :)

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Putting My Heart Out There

Hey guys. Here's where we're at right now: Matt finished his radiation treatments last week. Did they help? I don't know. He's sleeping a lot more. Having trouble chewing and swallowing. Not eating much. Not talking much, at least not in full sentences. It's just been a slow, steady decline for the last few months. I think it was really too late for radiation....But who knows, maybe it is delaying things. We went in last Tuesday for his infusion and talked with his neuro-oncologist about everything that we've been seeing with Matt, and he decided that we're at the point now where we should discontinue treatments...I feel like it's the right decision, even though it breaks my heart knowing that there is nothing else we can do. But I feel like we've done everything. All the supplements, the diet, the chemo, the radiation... Matt has fought hard. He never gave up hope. He kept the faith. He never complained through any of this. Not once did I hea

People always said That time would heal the pain But how can that be When mine still remains? The tears still fall At just the thought of you So I know that what they say Just can't be true As the years go by I miss you so much still No matter how much time passes I know I always will How are you not here To ease my hurting heart? Never could I have imagined We would ever be apart My world has been shattered A piece of me is gone And all I can do is pray For strength to live on I know that one day soon I will see you again I just have to try to suffer through And make it until then

Why?

Why? Why do I care so much? Why do I make sure they brush their teeth at night so that they don't get cavities? Why do I spend my own money to buy them clothes, toys and decorate their rooms, among other things? Why do I do 5,000 loads of laundry a week to make sure they have clothes to wear to school? Why do I make sure they go to church on Sundays so that they'll be raised to know about Jesus? Why do I try to give them chores and responsibilities so that they will turn out to be decent human beings? Why do I read them a bedtime story at night, even when I'm exhausted? Why do I clean up after them constantly and cook for them and try to always have healthy snacks and food on hand? Why do I go to their sports games and practices, just to feel like the odd man out standing there awkwardly with their bio mom? Why do I give 100% of myself and make so many sacrifices for children I didn't birth? Only to be insulted and told hurtful things? To be made to feel like I'm

Lindsay's Ramblings

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