Never Satisfied!

I. am. a. perfectionist.  Always have been, probably always will be. Sometimes this is a good thing, but sometimes it can be to my downfall.

I mean, take my body image, for example. Over the past 2 years, I have drastically changed the way I eat. I cut my carbs way down, started eating less processed foods, and more protein. I have seen amazing improvements in my physique as a result. I am leaner and more muscular than I have ever been. But it's never good enough.
Progress pic from late February
I am not really sure what my body fat percentage is exactly. I've had my husband measure it with calipers, and it usually comes out to be 12.5-13%, but I know that is probably not entirely accurate. I'd guess it's more like 14-15%??  But really, I have no clue. Anyways, the point is-I am lean. Even if I didn't really work for it(which I DO!!), I would stay pretty lean because of my fast metabolism. 

But because of my perfectionism and the "fitness model" look I am striving for, I am always going back and forth between wanting to have "abs"(which means lowering my body fat), or just being satisfied with a healthy, lean, athletic look....even if that means having some love handles and fat over my abs.

With this beach trip I have coming up, I want to look the best I can, and I think to myself,"I have to get just a little leaner, I have to get my abs to show more".... as if I'm not lean enough?? When will I ever be satisfied? I mean, so what if I don't have shredded abs?  I'm not competing, I'm not in magazines, so who am I trying to impress by having 6 pack abs? It's craziness, I know. 

I mean, I'm not on a strict diet or drastically cutting my calories or doing hours of cardio a day, but I am very mindful of my macros and meal timing and all that. Which I don't think is a bad thing at all, but it's just like, 'Really?' WHY am I trying to get leaner than I already am...why am I fighting against my body just so my abs will look better? It's dumb, and I am stopping this craziness!

Comments

  1. can I just say that you look amazing? you look just like any fitness model i've seen on the cover of Oxygen or similar magazines. You definitely have that "fitness model look" you are aspiring to achieve!

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    1. Thanks so much! I guess sometimes I just don't see it in myself...and of course, we're always more critical of ourselves and our flaws!

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  2. If I were next to you right now, I'd slap you, but of course I'm just kidding. You look amazing!!!! You should be so proud of your physique, you have worked hard and it definitely shows. You are an inspiration!

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    1. Haha! I think I need to slap myself!
      Thanks so much. I am very proud, but still am my own worst critic!

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  3. agree with meg and donna!!!
    however,i can TOTALLY RELATE to that crazy talk!!!!
    sometimes it can be hard to calm the inner voices,but eventually you will reach a breaking point and enough will be enough and the same strength that pushes you through your workouts and clean nutrition will push you to finally tell that little inner voice to shut the H*ll up!!!

    :D
    you look amazing,just keep your head up and know you are awesome!

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    1. Thank you!! It is a constant battle in my mind! It's not always a bad thing because it keeps me motivated and always trying to be better...but it's not good when it costs me my sanity! haha. I have to constantly tell myself I will NEVER be perfect, and I have to love the body shape I was given!
      Thanks again for the encouragement!

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