Skip to main content

Blah Day....

My husband is watching wrestling for the third time this week, which I have NO interest in right now....therefore, I am writing my second blog post of the day....

Well, today was kind of a crappy day. I was in a bad mood, emotional, and it was 60 degrees and dreary out, which didn't help. 60 degrees on the first day of JUNE!?

I know it's partly because it's almost that time of month...but what set it off was my back. I had a massage Thursday evening, and it was great, it felt amazing....But I was hoping that it would give me some relief. It didn't.

I woke up yesterday still in pain. I woke up fine, not in a bad mood at all, until I started doing some house cleaning.  My back was just hurting the whole time, and it was just so frustrating that I broke down. I have never had back pain like this before that is constant and never goes away. It's been like this for a few weeks now. I know something is not right, so I'm going to the chiropractor next week. Maybe one day I can get this issue resolved!

Okay....so on another topic, I think I'm going to try an experiment with my eating. Sometimes I'm fine with the way I eat....and other times I have anxiety about it and feel like food controls my thoughts. Sometimes I just want to be able to eat what I want to eat without thinking so much about it!

I want to have a meal and not think things like, "This has too much fat", or "I can't eat this apple because I've had too many carbs today". I want to be able eat something without thinking that it's going to make me fat. And I'm not talking about junk food, I'm talking about healthy foods!

I'm going to try not being so strict with my eating, not worry about eating every 3 hours, not worry about getting a certain number of carbs/fat/protein at each meal...and see how my body responds. I don't want to eat like a bodybuilder/figure competitor for the rest of my life....I want to see if there is a better way!

I'm also thinking about changing up my training and going to a full body split, 3 times a week, plus one conditioning workout.  I want to try something different, and I've realized that I just don't like splitting my training into 1 or 2  muscle groups, like push/pull. It's boring to me now to do ALL back exercises or all chest exercises in one workout. I like variety, I like to lift heavy, I like basic, compound exercises, and I like low volume. 

Since I posted about wanting to build up my glutes, I've come across tons of posts on Facebook lately about glute training! So I have lots of new things to try once my back gets better! I love having a focus in my training, and pretty soon it's going to be all about GLUTES!

Comments

  1. Lindsey, Nice Blog! I ran across it while browsing Facebook. I had to comment on this because I was in your same boat with the diet thing. Your diet and training sounds just like mine did a few years ago. I too would sweat each meal and started to wish I could just stop thinking about eating.. Somehow I was able to get away from it and to tell you the truth my body did not suffer much for it! I am still conscious about my meals, but if i don't get 6 in or if one had too many carbs I don't beat myself up.. Anyway just wanted to say good Luck! Also if you're interested you can check out my girlfriend and I's Blog at http://innateliving.net

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks!
    I have relaxed and I'm not overly obsessive with my diet right now...I just go through phases where I just want to eat all junk food! lol. It's just when my mind starts playing tricks on me and telling me I'm fat and that I need to be leaner when I start getting a little obsessive!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

People always said That time would heal the pain But how can that be When mine still remains? The tears still fall At just the thought of you So I know that what they say Just can't be true As the years go by I miss you so much still  No matter how much time passes I know I always will How are you not here To ease my hurting heart? Never could I have imagined We would ever be apart My world has been shattered A piece of me is gone And all I can do is pray For strength to live on I know that one day soon I will see you again I just have to try to suffer through And make it until then

Putting My Heart Out There

Hey guys. Here's where we're at right now: Matt finished his radiation treatments last week. Did they help? I don't know. He's sleeping a lot more. Having trouble chewing and swallowing. Not eating much. Not talking much, at least not in full sentences. It's just been a slow, steady decline for the last few months. I think it was really too late for radiation....But who knows, maybe it is delaying things. We went in last Tuesday for his infusion and talked with his neuro-oncologist about everything that we've been seeing with Matt, and he decided that we're at the point now where we should discontinue treatments...I feel like it's the right decision, even though it breaks my heart knowing that there is nothing else we can do. But I feel like we've done everything. All the supplements, the diet, the chemo, the radiation... Matt has fought hard. He never gave up hope. He kept the faith. He never complained through any of this. Not once did I hea...

Why?

Why? Why do I care so much?  Why do I make sure they brush their teeth at night so that they don't get cavities? Why do I spend my own money to buy them clothes, toys and decorate their rooms, among other things?  Why do I do 5,000 loads of laundry a week to make sure they have clothes to wear to school? Why do I make sure they go to church on Sundays so that they'll be raised to know about Jesus? Why do I try to give them chores and responsibilities so that they will turn out to be decent human beings? Why do I read them a bedtime story at night, even when I'm exhausted? Why do I clean up after them constantly and cook for them and try to always have healthy snacks and food on hand? Why do I go to their sports games and practices, just to feel like the odd man out standing there awkwardly with their bio mom? Why do I give 100% of myself and make so many sacrifices for children I didn't birth? Only to be insulted and told hurtful things? To be made to feel like I'm ...