Too Much of a Good Thing
I've just recently decided to delete many of the fitness blogs that I follow. As much as I am passionate about fitness and training and want to learn more and keep up with the latest research and training philosophies, I've realized that there comes a point where it can become TOO mind-consuming and anxiety-producing. It's going to be hard not to want to read every post from every strength and conditioning or fitness expert I follow, but I really think that the anxiety I've been having for the last few months is due to reading so many blogs.
I am a perfectionist, and I want to do everything the right way and be the best at everything I do. Sometimes that can be a good thing, but it can also sometimes NOT be so good! I've come to the realization that reading so much has NOT been to my benefit but rather to my detriment, causing me to second-guess and doubt myself. What tends to happen for me is that I read something and I think, "I need to do that", then I read something else, and I'm like, "maybe I should do that". Sometimes a thought will get into my head and stick there and fester and nag at me. My mind becomes consumed with thoughts about training 24/7!
Of course, I want to continue learning and finding ways to improve as a trainer and also in my own training, but I have to learn to just trust in myself. I have to trust in what I know and have learned over the years. I can't let my doubts and insecurities consume me. It's almost at the point where it's making me not even enjoy what I do anymore. I stress about my training and if I'm training my clients the right way. And while I don't consider myself a fitness "expert" by any means, I have been doing this for a long time and have a lot of knowledge. Now I just have to have confidence in that and not be swayed by every little thing I read or hear! I have to remember that there is no "perfect" program. And that I can't be perfect.
Plus, I want to get my priorites straight. I am not giving God as much time as I give to reading fitness and training articles. I am not pursuing Him the way I am pursuing fitness on a daily basis. My faith is the most important thing in my life, but if my mind is constantly consumed with training stuff, I am not able to focus my thoughts on God; I'm not able to hear God's voice if my mind is crowded out by other things. I want my thoughts to be focused on what is going to make me a better person, on being a better witness and servant for Christ, since that is the true reason we are put here on this earth.
You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you! -Isaiah 26:3