Lately I've been thinking about my future and what I want to do with my life.
I've been thinking about who I want to be, what I want to pursue. What are my dreams? What are my goals?
I feel sometimes that I haven't found my true purpose and passion and life. It seems that it would be health and fitness, and I DO realize the impact and influence that I have on people with what I do....but...a part of me also feels that there's something else for me-I just have no idea what it is. It's just a feeling I've had lately.
Then sometimes I feel like maybe I'm taking what I do for granted and that this IS what I'm meant to be doing, that I should be content. And I am SO thankful for what I am able to do for a living, I truly am. I just can't help but feel like there's gotta be more....
Sometimes I see other people chasing their dreams and doing things that I wish I could be doing. I wish that I could be more like them, that I had their courage and confidence to go after what they want. Instead, I doubt myself and what I am able to do, and I let that doubt and fear hold me back.
I was thinking about this as I was driving to work today, about how I often wish that I was different, that I was more socialable and less shy....and then I realized that I am exactly who I am meant to be, flaws and all. Every talent and ability I have, God is going to use in His plan for me. I realized that someone else's plan is not mine, and that I shouldn't want to be more like someone else. I am who I am, and I am that way for a reason.
What I envision for my life and the things that I want may not even be what God wants for me. He may have something completely different in store for me than what I would expect. That's how God works. And I'm sure that whatever it is will be much better than what I could even imagine!
I was jotting down some thoughts in my journal this morning after my bible reading, and I wrote down, "What is my purpose, my plan? What should I pursue?"
And then my next thought that came to me was, "Pursue Him."
I realized that right now I may not know what God's plan is for me or what dreams I want to pursue, but if I chase after Him, He will give me the desires of my heart. All I have to do is put my trust and hope in Him, and He will lead me down the right path.
So what I need to do now is to stop thinking about what I should pursue and starting pursuing Him.
I don't have to worry or fear, because I know that I am in good hands and that the best is yet to come. I don't have to be consumed with doubt and insecurity, because I am not trusting in my own abilities but in the strength of God working in me.
Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.
-2 Corinthians 12:9