Cardio vs. Conditioning

Cardio vs. Conditioning:  http://www.t-nation.com/training/predator-conditioning

If traditional cardio is your thing and makes you happy, then by all means, go for it! But this is why I choose not to. Well, this and the fact that I despise it. Just too funny not to share. ;)

 Conditioning prepares you for battle. Cardio makes you really good at running slowly away.
Conditioning fires up the metabolism. Cardio extinguishing it over time.
Conditioning makes a man look good naked. Cardio makes a man look good in lavender skinny jeans and not much else.
Conditioning builds legs of steel. Cardio builds legs of an underfed seabird.
Conditioning makes you lean and hard. Cardio makes you small and soft.
Conditioning gives you an upper body made of stone. Cardio gives you an upper body made of twigs and Jell-O.
Conditioning makes you better at any physical activity. Cardio makes you good at cardio.
Conditioning is sex. Cardio is cuddling and a chick-flick.
Conditioning is testosterone. Cardio is cortisol and estrogen.
Conditioning is pecs. Cardio is man-boobs.
Conditioning is Westside Barbell. Cardio is Planet Fitness.
Conditioning relieves anxiety, boosts all-day energy and fires up brain function. Cardio increases anxiety and cortisol. (Runners are only happy when they run. The rest of the time they're assholes. True story.).
Conditioning is fun. Cardio is fun when it's over.
Conditioning is for hunters. Cardio is for Bambi's mom.
In short, conditioning is for predators. Cardio is for prey.

Tire drags-my "cardio"!