Skip to main content

Stop Apologizing

I was trying on bikinis the other day at Target, and I'm not gonna lie....looking in the mirror, I felt pretty darn good about myself. I liked the way I looked and all the muscles that I saw!

So I snapped some pics to send to Matt so see which ones he liked, and looking at them later I found myself starting to think that I didn't look lean enough. And I instantly thought to myself, "Really??That is stupid, Lindsay." It's like, I thought I was long past this...but no.

To be honest, I still struggle with my body image. Not all of the time or near as much as I used to, but I  DO have my days. The crazy thing is I can know that I'm really lean but still have days where I feel fat. Yes, it is stupid. I know this.

Then I started thinking about how social media can almost make you feel like it's not okay to be okay with NOT wanting to be crazy lean. You know what I mean?

Like most people are always trying to be leaner, to get their abs to pop, or more veins to show. Or they're complaining about the extra "fluff" they have right now and how they can't wait to start "cutting" again or whatever. It's rare to see someone who is a little "softer" and actually totally okay with it.

Another thing I've noticed that bothers me is that I'll often see people post a mirror selfie with a caption something to the effect of, "So I'm not at my leanest right now"... which to me almost seems like they are apologizing for it.

We should not have to apologize or make excuses for not being super lean!!

What is so wrong with having a little bit more bodyfat and actually being OKAY with it??

What is so wrong with being happy with the way you look even if you don't have visible abs?

What is so wrong with choosing mental health, strength, and lots of food over having 6 pack abs?

Not being shredded does NOT mean you have any less discipline or that you work any less harder than someone who is. It doesn't mean that you don't care about how you look, or that you don't have goals. And being super lean doesn't mean you're more "hardcore" or that you're better than anyone else!

I like the way I look with more bodyfat, and so does my husband. This is not a temporary thing where I'm "bulking" so that I can cut later. No, I have no desire to be any leaner than I am right now... ever. I like my body, and it's only when I compare myself to others that I start to have doubts and insecurities about the way I look.

It's a sad thing when you don't feel that you can be okay with being okay with your body, just because others aren't okay with theirs.



Comments

  1. Mollie KFebruary 12, 2015 at 4:52 AM

    I LOVE THIS LINDSAY!!!! so much! I agree whole heartedly with everything you are saying. I used to think I needed to be lean because thats what society said and I thought that would make me happy. But until I started lifting heavy, letting go of the anxiety of what I put in my mouth and how I looked, and focused on strength, health, and happiness, I have never felt better and my body fat is definitely higher! I love your point about just because one has higher body fat doesn't mean they don't work as hard. Gosh I wish we could hang out in person :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LindsayFebruary 12, 2015 at 8:43 AM

      Thank you! I really love the way I look and feel right now! It's just crazy how social media can make you almost feel bad about actually liking your body at a higher bodyfat. Yes, that would be fun! ;)

      Delete
  2. CassieFebruary 12, 2015 at 7:23 AM

    First of all, you look great, and you should feel great about yourself! Second, I totally agree. I'm not always 100% happy with my body, but I'm learning to love it, I wasn't any more happy with it 30 lbs ago with an ED. Like everything, it's about perspective, and this is such a healthy perspective!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LindsayFebruary 12, 2015 at 8:45 AM

      Thank you! I Everyone has their insecurites and bad days, but I really do like the way I look! And yes, I feel like sometimes the leaner you are, the more dissatisfied you are, like it's just never enough!

      Delete
  3. AnonymousFebruary 12, 2015 at 8:25 AM

    Andddd........once you start apologizing for things like how your body looks (or doesn't) you give away ALL of your power over yourself. Social media is a distortion and it is almost like a 'lure' to some personalities that makes it 'okay' for those personalities to obsess over every little thing in life.

    When people stop apologizing for these types of things, you start to attract the people that are genuine in life. There are females at the gym I am a member of who are social butterflies when they are 'lean, cut and overall ON' their game. When they gain a few pounds or see some movement in their body fat - the people they hang with will change because the people who associated with them at their leanest, aren't overly interested in them when they are 'soft'. So, that would require them to either keep up with the others in order to search for their so-called approval.....or just say screw it and be who you are. If you are healthy and striving to maintain a personal balance, truly, who cares if the veins are showing or not. It comes down to acceptance of who you are and growing as an individual. Finding that acceptance with yourself in life doesn't mean throwing in the towel or surrendering, it means being at peace with who you are - and that can come with or without visible abs. The only difference is that you weed out those who matter.

    My all-time fave quote is this: "Confidence is silent, insecurities are loud" and that is so true. Those who are on an almost fanatic quest to reach a specific, constant ideal are generally the ones who show up and 'perform' in search of that attention. The people who are secure.....you can just tell.

    So, in conclusion (after this 'book') - that is a great pic and yeah...keep working on that acceptance of yourself because what matters is how you feel inside. You know that...but I had to add my two cents' worth on the issue because I see the insecurity every day at the gym. Some take the opposite route and take on the 'up yours' attitude, but somewhere in the middle is never a bad thing!

    ~ Jen :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LindsayFebruary 12, 2015 at 8:56 AM

      I love your 'books'! And you are so right. All I care about is how I feel, that I'm happy and healthy, not miserable trying to attain or maintain a certain look. My husband loves me the way I am, and he's the only one I really care about! Thanks! :)

      Delete
  4. NicoleFebruary 13, 2015 at 6:08 AM

    I love this, and I agree 100% - I think everyone needs to read this!
    I can't tell you how many times I see the exact posts you're talking about, or have those exact days myself, and can't help but think REALLY?! We are all bat shit crazy!
    You look absolutely amazing, and are such a huge inspiration to me - thank you for writing this I needed to read it today. :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LindsayFebruary 13, 2015 at 8:35 AM

      Thanks! At least we realize how crazy it is when we have those thoughts. There was a time when I didn't! Thanks again, I appreciate that.

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

People always said That time would heal the pain But how can that be When mine still remains? The tears still fall At just the thought of you So I know that what they say Just can't be true As the years go by I miss you so much still  No matter how much time passes I know I always will How are you not here To ease my hurting heart? Never could I have imagined We would ever be apart My world has been shattered A piece of me is gone And all I can do is pray For strength to live on I know that one day soon I will see you again I just have to try to suffer through And make it until then
5 comments
Read more

Putting My Heart Out There

Hey guys. Here's where we're at right now: Matt finished his radiation treatments last week. Did they help? I don't know. He's sleeping a lot more. Having trouble chewing and swallowing. Not eating much. Not talking much, at least not in full sentences. It's just been a slow, steady decline for the last few months. I think it was really too late for radiation....But who knows, maybe it is delaying things. We went in last Tuesday for his infusion and talked with his neuro-oncologist about everything that we've been seeing with Matt, and he decided that we're at the point now where we should discontinue treatments...I feel like it's the right decision, even though it breaks my heart knowing that there is nothing else we can do. But I feel like we've done everything. All the supplements, the diet, the chemo, the radiation... Matt has fought hard. He never gave up hope. He kept the faith. He never complained through any of this. Not once did I hea
240 comments
Read more

Why?

Why? Why do I care so much?  Why do I make sure they brush their teeth at night so that they don't get cavities? Why do I spend my own money to buy them clothes, toys and decorate their rooms, among other things?  Why do I do 5,000 loads of laundry a week to make sure they have clothes to wear to school? Why do I make sure they go to church on Sundays so that they'll be raised to know about Jesus? Why do I try to give them chores and responsibilities so that they will turn out to be decent human beings? Why do I read them a bedtime story at night, even when I'm exhausted? Why do I clean up after them constantly and cook for them and try to always have healthy snacks and food on hand? Why do I go to their sports games and practices, just to feel like the odd man out standing there awkwardly with their bio mom? Why do I give 100% of myself and make so many sacrifices for children I didn't birth? Only to be insulted and told hurtful things? To be made to feel like I'm
5 comments
Read more