True and long term happiness doesn't come from a number on the scale or a dress size.

Honest enjoyment doesn't come from flexing your bicep in the gym and the only one smiling back at you is yourself. These things may give you temporary satisfaction, but you have to learn to think beyond what you see and begin to focus on how you feel.

If it consumes you...If it controls how you feel...If it makes you check yourself out in the mirror 100 times a day...If it makes you compare your body to someone else's...If it causes you to take an extreme approach...If it makes you stand on the scale before breakfast, lunch, and dinner... It's not healthy.

And remember, this can apply to anyone- you don't have to have an eating disorder or be a competitor to develop a "never good enough" mindset.

It takes practice and it's not an easy transition, but I promise, when you're mindful of doing what makes you feel good rather than masking feelings by being consumed- you will realize what pure enjoyment feels like.

-Brooke Erickson

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Putting My Heart Out There

Hey guys. Here's where we're at right now: Matt finished his radiation treatments last week. Did they help? I don't know. He's sleeping a lot more. Having trouble chewing and swallowing. Not eating much. Not talking much, at least not in full sentences. It's just been a slow, steady decline for the last few months. I think it was really too late for radiation....But who knows, maybe it is delaying things. We went in last Tuesday for his infusion and talked with his neuro-oncologist about everything that we've been seeing with Matt, and he decided that we're at the point now where we should discontinue treatments...I feel like it's the right decision, even though it breaks my heart knowing that there is nothing else we can do. But I feel like we've done everything. All the supplements, the diet, the chemo, the radiation... Matt has fought hard. He never gave up hope. He kept the faith. He never complained through any of this. Not once did I hea

People always said That time would heal the pain But how can that be When mine still remains? The tears still fall At just the thought of you So I know that what they say Just can't be true As the years go by I miss you so much still No matter how much time passes I know I always will How are you not here To ease my hurting heart? Never could I have imagined We would ever be apart My world has been shattered A piece of me is gone And all I can do is pray For strength to live on I know that one day soon I will see you again I just have to try to suffer through And make it until then

Why?

Why? Why do I care so much? Why do I make sure they brush their teeth at night so that they don't get cavities? Why do I spend my own money to buy them clothes, toys and decorate their rooms, among other things? Why do I do 5,000 loads of laundry a week to make sure they have clothes to wear to school? Why do I make sure they go to church on Sundays so that they'll be raised to know about Jesus? Why do I try to give them chores and responsibilities so that they will turn out to be decent human beings? Why do I read them a bedtime story at night, even when I'm exhausted? Why do I clean up after them constantly and cook for them and try to always have healthy snacks and food on hand? Why do I go to their sports games and practices, just to feel like the odd man out standing there awkwardly with their bio mom? Why do I give 100% of myself and make so many sacrifices for children I didn't birth? Only to be insulted and told hurtful things? To be made to feel like I'm

Lindsay's Ramblings

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Truth!