Team Capp

I started a TeamCapp group on Facebook, just for people to post things to Matt and share memories, prayers, encouragement, whatever. Well, never would I have imagined the response it has gotten! It now has over 1500 members, and daily people write things about Matt and the impact he has had on their lives and about how he's one of, if not THE best, people they know.

Now, I know he's amazing. That's why I married him, and I have thanked God for him ever since day since we got married in 2006. But man, I am just even more appreciative and feel SO incredibly blessed to have been the one that he chose to spend his life with. Matt truly is something special.And a big part of that is because of how he was raised-by two Christ-like parents, and also because of his own faith and Jesus in him.

I've been reading all the messages to Matt. He smiles, laughs, and sometimes gets emotional. I know it touches his heart and that it makes him feel good knowing that he has impacted so many. And mostly, he gets emotional when people say something about him setting an example with how he lives out his faith, or how he has influenced them to be stronger in their faith. Because that is truly what makes Matt most happy-when he can impact someone for Christ. That's what he has always been about, and that is the number one reason I fell in love with him 14 years ago.

I would never choose this path, and it's the hardest thing I've ever been through, but God is already using this for good in so many ways. Matt's story and impact is getting out there to the world in a way it never would have if this hadn't happened.

What I want people to get out of this situation is not just to believe in yourself, or to be strong, or to always keep fighting, although those are great things that Matt would encourage people to do. What I want more than anything, is for people to look at us and say, "I want to know the God they know."

Because honestly, if it weren't for Christ and the hope we have in Him, we would have crumbled long ago. People ask me how I'm making it through this and how I'm not an emotional wreck...and I have no explanation except for God's grace. I'm not just saying that-it's the truth. I don't know how I'm making it through each day but for the peace that surpasses all understanding that can only come from the Lord.

Yes, I'm terribly sad. Yes, my heart is breaking. Yes, I cry every single day. But God truly has been supplying me with the grace and peace to get through each moment, each new challenge. Knowing God won't waste my pain, knowing that He will cause good to come from the worst of situations, makes the pain bearable.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

 Yes, sometimes I think about the future, and I'm scared, but mostly sad. Sad that I have to live without my soulmate, my best friend, my partner in life. I don't know what it's going to feel like when he's gone, or how I'll react...or what I'm going to do with my life from that point on. There are so many uncertainties... but dwelling on that does me no good, so I don't. I focus on the here and now, cherishing every smile, every laugh, every hand squeeze, every morning I get to lie beside him with my arm across his chest. God has gotten me through this far, and I know that He will continue to do so. I will rely upon his promises and His grace to see me through, even through the worst pain imagineable.

"I know God is using this. A lot more people want to listen to people in tragedy than triumph. They want to know that God is bigger than anything they face." -Matt Cappotelli


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