Grace Is Greater

It’s common for people who go through the loss of a loved one to question God, or to be angry at Him.  I experienced those emotions when my Dad died 12 years ago from cancer. And you know what?  It’s okay to feel that way. We can come to God with our questions and doubts and anger, just like King David did, as long as you don’t let that anger continue to fester and turn into bitterness and resentment towards God. That only leads to a sad and miserable life.

As I matured in my faith over the years and my relationship with God grew stronger and deeper, my mindset this time around with Matt was so much different than with my dad. I’m not going to say I never had my moments of doubts or questions, but for the most part, I stopped asking God why. I have not had any anger towards Him. He has done so much for me, for us, through Jesus-how could I be angry at a God who has forgiven and saved me, who loves me unconditionally?

I stopped asking why, because I as I grew to know and love Jesus more, I began to truly understand and see His goodness and grace more and more, and because of that I trusted Him. I trusted that He knew more than me and that He knew better than me how to best glorify His name and reach others for Him. I knew that He is good and wants only good for me, so I surrendered it all to His will, to His good and perfect will.

10 years ago I would not have had this same mindset or perspective on things. I would not have been able to go through what I went through this past year without falling apart, without being a total mess. But because I spent the last 10 years striving to be closer to Jesus, I have been able to get through this without anger, without questioning, and with gratitude, peace, and even joy. Yes, there is pain, there is heartache, there is sadness, there is anxiety…but there is still joy. And that’s grace.

I’m saying this NOT to make myself look good(because I’m not), but to show why it is SO important to draw close to God and to work on your relationship with him during the GOOD times, so that when the bad times come(and they will), you will be prepared for them. You will know and love God so much that you will be able to trust him, no matter what happens. You will trust Him because you will KNOW in your heart that He is only good and that His ways are only good and that He is with you and for you. And that changes everything.

My prayer for each and every one of you is that you will have that trust, that you will have that faith in God that brings the peace that passes all understanding. It doesn’t mean that you won’t have pain, or heartache or sorrow-even Jesus had sorrow on this Earth! But you will have the presence of God, and you will have hope that will keep you from despair, and you will have the strength that only comes from Him. 

Just know that His grace is there to cover you, if you’ll let Him. He can and WILL get you through ANYTHING you face, even your worst nightmare. Take it from the one who’s been through mine. 

His grace is greater.