Lindsay's Ramblings

When my husband died all the stability and certainty of my life disappeared in the blink of an eye. I felt like I was wondering around, lost, with no anchor. I truly had no idea what I would do or how my life would end up. But one thing that helped me to get through this was just to take things one day at a time. Even though it was definitely hard at times when my heart was in so much pain, I tried to simply live in the moment and appreciate the small things. And I still do that to this day. All we have is this moment. The past is gone and the future is not certain. So be sure to open your eyes to the beauty around you everyday. Savor this moment. Kissing your husband. Snuggling with your kids. A butterfly landing on a flower. Blue skies. A warm cup of coffee. Crickets chirping at night. A roof over our heads. A refrigerator full of food. A car to drive. Life is hard. It seems like the world is in chaos right now and there's so much hate and anger. But we can make the choice to be ...

Hey guys!  I just thought I'd drop in with a life update. So I know I posted a while back about my boyfriend and me breaking up. There was just a lot going on at the time, and both of us needed to take a step back. But we've worked through things and are back together now. We're committed to moving forward and doing life together...which I will admit, still terrifies me.  A relationship is definitely a lot different now than it was with Matt... there are kids, hectic schedules, exes, past issues, etc...so it can be hard at times, I'm not gonna lie. But I am happy and feel good about my life right now, although sometimes it still feels like I'm living someone else's life...  With that being said, I still wouldn't say I'm "healed".  Something happened to my brain when I went through Matt's cancer and then his death, and I don't think I'll ever be the same. I'm still realizing the trauma of what I went through and seeing the effect...