Lindsay's Ramblings

 Hi my blog peeps! (All five of you-haha!) I feel like the Summer is flyyying by!!! Why??? The kids have only THREE weeks until school starts back; it's crazy. I feel like we haven't had much time to do many fun things this Summer, between me working some Saturdays, how rainy it's been and then just having the kids every other weekend. BUT we leave for Florida in 12 more days!!! I cannot wait. And there will still be time to do things on weekends, even after school starts back. We have had a couple of camping trips and lots of fishing with the kids-I love that they love fishing so much! We've had a few pool days, too.  The plan for this Summer was supposed to be us at the lake on the boat every weekend....buuut SOMEONE ( cough-cough-Damon ) didn't winterize the boat after last season, and it ruined the motor or something like that. We've been trying to get it fixed, but it's not looking like it's going to be water ready this Summer. :( I was so lookin...

Damon and I recently had a kid's free camping weekend, and it was a great time! We've gone camping with the kids many times, but this was our first time just the two of us. There's just something so relaxing to me about being out in nature, surrounded by trees and water.  It was much needed! The weather was perfect, and the campsite was great. There was a little spot right behind us where we had access to the lake, so we spent the first evening fishing and then sitting by the fire under the stars. Damon caught quite a few fish, but I caught nothing...because I suck at fishing. Ha!  Everything was great, besides being woken up multiple times during the night by what we assume were racoons trying to get into our food! But hey, that's just nature for ya!  The next day, we had our morning coffee by the fire, did a little more fishing and then did some kayaking. Definitely a great weekend trip, and looking forward to the next one! Hopefully next time we will have our boat up...

I am done. I am done caring what other people think of me.  I am done worrying about people misunderstanding me.  I am done living in fear. I am done feeling like I'm not enough, feeling like no one likes me. I am done having a pity party!  I am done with thinking that I can't be or won't be happy again. I am DONE . Yes, I've been hurt. Yes, I'm tired and worn and exhausted and broken. But I know who I am. I'm strong and resilient and caring and kind and loyal. I am a child of God. I am strong in Christ. I am chosen. I am loved. I am more than a conqueror. I am not going to let other people affect my well-being, or cause me to question my worth any longer. Yes, I have changed. Trauma does that to you. Grieving does that to you. Losing your innocent mind and naivety after living in a bubble for 12 years does that to you. Being hurt and betrayed does that to you. But it's not an excuse to let myself be filled with anger, resentment, bitterness, or self-pity. T...

Step Moms. Always the bad guys. The ones who didn't birth or raise the children that they love and sacrifice for. But we are the bad guys.  The ones who kiss boo-boos, read bedtime stories, wash piles and piles of laundry and make school lunches...but we are the bad guys.  The ones who pick up or drop off at school when needed, throw ball in the back yard, make sure dinners are made and snacks are always on hand...but we are the bad guys. The ones who schedule and plan and organize, who keep the home running...but we are the bad guys. The ones who plan the birthday parties and make sure each child feels special on their day...but we are the bad guys. The ones who don't HAVE to love, but CHOOSE to...but we are the bad guys. The ones who are overlooked and often unappreciated and disregarded. The ones who are disrespected and told we aren't "real" moms....but we are the bad guys. When someone needs a villain in the story,  step moms are the go-to. But we will gladly...

 Hiii!!! It's Spring, and the weather is FINALLY beginning to cooperate! Lately it's been like 80 degrees one day, and then it's back to being 50 the next day. We had a few nights last week at baseball games where we froze our butts off at the fields. So not cool. I am beyond ready for the warm weather to be here for good! Lake days are calling my name... So I thought I'd do a little "life lately" post in pics. We've been staying busy with the kids, as always. Baseball started a few weeks ago, so it's pretty much chaos with games every night of the week! We celebrated Liam turning 13, which is crazyyyy. He was only 9 when I met him!  I've gotten the Jeep out a few times now that we've had some warmer days, and surprisingly picked it back up pretty quickly! I am still just driving it through the neighborhoods, but it makes me happy! I'm gonna just keep practicing and get it back out on the roads without being terrified-that's the goal, a...

Hi to the five people who still read blogs! I know this isn't really a popular platform these days, so I write here mostly as a way to just keep record of my thoughts through the years. As I've said before, it's sort of like an online diary for me.  Friendships have been on my mind lately. I've recently just felt really hurt, confused, left out and excluded. I try to put on this "hard" exterior, like nothing bothers me, but deep down, it really does.  I've come to realize that I really struggle with friendships. I struggle with wanting friends, with wanting to feel included and part of a group, but at the same time, struggling with the energy and effort it takes to maintain those friendships-with doing all the "right" things to be someone people would want to be friends with. I know that it's me; I know I'm different. I'm not the most social, I'm not the most talkative, I'm not the most emotional. I'm not super funny or wi...

All my life, I've been a little different. In high school, I was the one who didn't go to parties, drink alcohol, or hook up with my boyfriends. I didn't care if I was different, if I wasn't doing what everyone else was doing, or what was considered the "norm". I never tried to "fit in" or be a part the "cool" crowd. I had no desire for that. I was confident in myself and confident in my faith and who God created me and wanted me to to be. Doing something just because "everyone else is doing it" just was and is not a good excuse for me. I actually kind of like to do the opposite of what  most people are doing...I'm a rebel, what can I say-ha!  That carried on into the rest of my life. I never had the desire for a traditional church wedding. While most people wouldn't dare not have a wedding with family and friends, Matt and I eloped to Hawaii without telling a single person. Having a bridal shower and bachelorette party, a...